So.

Here I am.

*sigh*

On Labor Day, my best friend's father died. He treated me better in the five years I knew him than my own father has my whole life.

Fate is a bitter bitch that really needs to get laid. Maybe then she wouldn't be so uptight. Wretched wench.

T.-

It isn't fair. How is it the beautiful, wonderful people that make you feel like you can conquer the world are the ones that get taken from it? How is it people like my FATHER...the lying, scathing, cheating, disease giving cock monger...get to live and continue to spread their pestilence? I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!



My mother says it is because God needs Them. God needs the ones that are pure and good to help him with other things.

I am sure she is right in a way, but it still doesn't make the pain any less scathing.

I can remember when he'd call me...just because he knew I needed to hear someone was thinking about me and sending good prayers my way. My own father doesn't even call me to give me the time of fucking day.

When you lose the center of your universe, do you keep moving on or does your whole existence collapse?

I don't know about anything anymore...because shortly before all of THIS bad news, my mother in law told me she was kicking us out of the house because she decided on a whim to sell it after all. Even though we are paying the bills and we have done a bunch of work to the piece of shit.

All of the hard work down the FUCKIN DRAIN.

God, I hate people sometimes.

*sigh*

So....

Here I am...

I think I am on the brink of something amazing, but I say it EVERY FUCKING SEPTEMBER......

I hate fall.

I hate September.

I HATE EVERYTHING.

My friend, bless her heart, she finally said I was right. When I asked her what about she said that I was right about September being a horrible month and fall was a horrible season. I nodded in agreement and said, "Yeah, I know."

My friend and classmate died in September, another friend died shortly after, my friend's great aunt had a heart attack, my aunt died in September, a close family friend died in a car accident, my friend's father died, and my husband and I lost our home....

Yeah.

I'd say September just about fucking sucks, wouldn't you?

Hrm. I will get back on the horse so to speak. I will keep going even though I wish I could quit sometimes. It's been hard for my friend...and it has been hard for me sitting with her knowing she may never really be the same after this. It has been harder still helping her decide what must go of all of her father's things and what she should keep.

When my mother dies, I don't know if I will have her courage and strength.

My friend truly is one of the strongest people I know.

And I love her a lot.

So, this is for you, chica.



May the blood of sisterhood always be strong with us and the wind at your back helping your wings take flight.

And, for you will be sorely missed by any and all who knew you.

Thank you for being in my life.

Love and Luck
Kat

P.S. I still owe you 20 bucks from ACen 2004. Those involved, you know who you are. ^-^